i was making a lot of mistakes and then my archery instructor said:
“you make mistakes because you’re focusing on the target and not on your actions”
and i was like woah
thanks for giving me the best life advice i’ve ever gotten
guys just think about how applicable this is to EVERYFUCKINGTHING
so I bought my mom this cup with a hot dude having coffee because my mom is fun and i thought this might like her.
BUT THEN I SERVE MYSELF COFFEE IN IT AND TURNS OUT THAT WHEN THE CUP GETS HOT
THE DUDE LOSES HIS PANTS AND THAT’S COFFEE AND PORN AND I DONT KNOW WHAT KIND OF SORCERY THIS IS!
Joke of the day.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”
Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this
stupidest/most awesome joke ever
- 12-year-old girl: I don't want kids when I grow up.
- Society: You'll change your mind when you get older. You're only 12. You're too young to know what you want.
- 16-year-old girl: I'm pregnant.
- Society: How could you be so stupid? Do you know anything about safe sex? You should be ashamed.
- 20-year-old woman: I'm a single mother with an infant son.
- Society: You should've gone to college first. You need a stable career before you can support a child.
- 33-year-old woman: I'm married and my spouse and I both have stable careers. I have two young daughters now.
- Society: You're not staying home? Who's going to take care of them? You're just going to put them in day care while you work? That's selfish of you. You can't expect to raise decent kids with a full-time job.
- 45-year-old woman: I just had my first child.
- Society: Why would you have a child when you're that old? Do you realize the health risks of being pregnant at your age? When your kid is a teenager you'll be a senior citizen. That's inconsiderate of you.
- 60-year-old woman: I haven't had any children.
- Society: Your life must be so unfulfilling. Is there something wrong with you? Why didn't you want kids? How strange.